I'm with Owen Wilson on this one. Tonight they were all how could he's and what makes a person so desperate's. And I was sitting silent, understanding with great depths of comprehension how a person could want to shuffle off this mortal coil. It's not that life is so terrible and unhappy, but nothing around me has sustaining value. We are all looking forward to this or that, cornered and calendared into mouthfuls of memories. Seasons keep us sane. The rain. But underneath those layers of protection, peeled down to what am I and what am I doing here, there are a few discouraging realities. Yet we push bravely on, all of us living for someone else so it's a good thing everyone else is alive so we have a reason to live.

:: eclipse ::

Lastnight I was complaining to a friend that no one ever tells me when celestial glories are going to happen (like meteor showers, for example).  Then, not two hours later, I got a call just to let me know that there was going to be a full lunar eclipse at 2:30 am.  Beautiful.  

Thank you, Kait.  And thank you, God.  

:: maze ::

There's so much involved in living. In some moments I see (or think I see) that I am a player, a character. That I am small, but not like a marionette with no choices. Small like a mouse caught in a maze but there's really no wrong direction. It's just turning and dead ends -- then soaring hope when it seems I made the right turn. But all along all they're looking at is the pace of my steps and the strength of my gait.

It isn't unfair, it's just a puzzle with no box to go off of. So right now what looks like a forest might end up being just a few trees standing huddled together in the middle of an open field. And I see deep shadows but the darkest ones are always from the brightest suns.

:: ms. gervasi ::

I watched Miss Potter tonight and it has ruined me. Don't you think it would be very nice to call everyone by their formal name, mostly their last name, and only address friends with the first? That would make a much easier sifting of acquaintances and friends. And then, when a person really likes you, you know because they want to call you by your first name. Mandy. You may call me Mandy. Yes, that would be a good system.