7.19.2011

:: so, ::


It's summer now. Good thing, because I hated Winter and Winter hated me back. I avoided it as much as possible, staying inside more than a human should and curling up like a cat in the rectangle of sun that would come through our bedroom window every mid-morning.

And I slept. Actually, I think "hibernate" is a more accurate word. I slept through most of January, February, and March. Woke up long enough in April to realize that it was still snowing. And why? When would it end?

But it's summer now, and I love summer. Something new happens in me when it's warm. I get warm too, and open myself up to possibility. It's been a while since I did that (which I'm ashamed to admit). I'm ready for change, which isn't my usual way. I'm ready to find a favorite coffee shop with David, to have "our" places and "our" Fun Things that we do regularly enough to say it's something that we do.

Fun Things have been the recurring theme of the last few months. Rather, their absence has. Medical school and nursing school -- the collision of those things in our lives -- have robbed us of what most normal people have: fun. I'm not just feeling sorry for myself, I'm being honest about our life. Yesterday David decided he will be postponing his next boards exam so he (and we) will have more time to study and -- oh yeah -- some time to live in the meantime. He made a schedule in his Google calendar. Every day on that schedule is me, "Fun Things with my Love." I actually started crying when I saw it. Which is when I realized how much of a strain it's been on my soul to wait every day hoping he will have time to enjoy with me, then going to bed another night with no time converted into memories, just hours spent hoping.

Hoping isn't all bad, but it's certainly not for the faint of heart. And glorious day! My hoping has turned into happening.

So here I am, in a too-warm house, writing it all down so I don't forget: the best is yet to come. (because, we're busy creating it!)

6 Comments:

Blogger thesmallblondeone said...

Glad for an update, friend. :) But when you said winter keeps you from being you (paraphrase), I just see Mandy dancing around the living room at Cobblestone, with winter hat and scarf. :)

Good for you guys, scheduling fun! We need to do that around here ourselves. Let me know how it works out for you! :)

3:56 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

The "Fun Things with My Love" part got me right there (In my mind, I'm thumping my heart with my hand). So sweet!

10:37 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Nice blog good luck with the pregnancy, keep us posted OK, on behalf of Stirring Trouble Internationally I wish you and your future all the best.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous johan said...

nice blog.have a good things about love.

1:48 AM  
Blogger UnicycleRose said...

I really like your blog and am glad to hear you are leaving hibernate mode! I think you have a spam problem too! It's happened to me too!

7:50 PM  
Anonymous click here said...

Thanks for the update. I really appreciate it.

3:28 AM  

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