Why am I still awake? I was headed to bed an hour or more ago but restless. Wrote some emails. Checked something off my To Do list. Read a post about community and that felt like cold water in my face. Now how am I supposed to sleep?

Earlier tonight I was listening to a condensed history of missions, from the Gauls to William Carey. Something about sitting in that room makes me fill up pages in my journal -- but I'm still listening to the speaker, I promise. I multi-task. And I digress.


Tonight I was writing about the lost feeling I've been having and the multiplicity of answers people have given as the way to find a way again. I am afraid of most of the solutions, primarily because I'm leery of anything being offered as a "solution" to some supposed "problem." We're all about fixing things, in the most expedient way, and then driving out of the pit to reach 200 miles an hour again. But right now I don't think I want to be fixed at all. I think I just want an arm around the shoulder, or a hand on my back. And I don't want either of those to exist in connection with something I have or haven't done, or have or haven't been this past week.

(does that answer your question, Mandi? A more thorough reply is on its way...)


Blogger Mandi said...

Yes, and no. I read dichotomy. I very often like the idea of dichotomy.

6:35 AM  

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