It's nice to be able to replace people's losses.  In fact, it's almost impossible to participate with altruistic motives, without stealing a bit of pleasure for ourselves while we lend a hand.  

The problem is when we can't help, when we don't have what they need brimming out of our full closets.  When they lose something like a Dad.  Or husband.  Then there's no good feeling to pass around, just the tissue.

(I'm so sorry.)